First and Last

Today is beginning of the last day of my formal employment. Willingly, I am choosing to live in the uncertainty of unemployment. For now, I'd rather maintain my Home and Sanity than hustle and bustle in a big City.
Originally, I had every intention of "staying in the business" and forging a name for the Company and my self.

But things don't always pan out as planned.

It all happened at such an unwitting pace, that I cannot help but reflect on the possible grand implications of my minor decision to decline the job offer I'd once accepted.
What was it that changed within my heart? My mind?
Was it as simple as fear? (Of moving to another city...Of leaving friends and family...?)
Or is it some complex microcosm of reasons that can only be understood by the macrocosm of cause and effect?

Choice as chaos.
Splendid.

Like the spin and chase of the sun and the moon, always preceding or succeeding one another, so are the events of life bound and wound together.
The events of my life are no different.
I am always spinning with decisions and chasing opportunities...But until I succeed in the goals I've set out to achieve, I will always be preceding my self with more and more busyness...and there will be no peace--no true advancement.
Leading a team of editors and analysts through the mirk of the Internet Video Industry is not for me. (At least, not while under the wings of a Company.)

Busyness does not make happiness. And, perhaps that is what it boils down to: I was not happy with my choice.
I have too much to do as it is! So to keep going...to take on more by staying with the Company...This choice made me unhappy. It had to change.

And so it did.
And so did I.