In the Beginning

I didn't apply for the Job directly. It came to me through a Temporary Agency.
They said, "we have an opening at a digital music company...are you interested"?
'Yes, very,' I said.

I wasn't told much about the Job by the Agency. Something about data entry. Something about "ripping" CDs. It sounded too good to be true.

I can still remember the first and only interview. It was two on one in a windowed corner office. I was on an orange--or maybe it was red--couch. And the mild-mannered bald man and the slouched programmer were in black office chairs not so far away from me.
I was asked several questions about my music preferences...what did I think about this or that genre...this or that artist...what made me an ideal candidate...usual and unusual questions...I wasn't exactly run through the ringer.

After the interview came the tour of the office--and at that moment, I knew I had it in the bag.

The next day, a phone call, "Company Z wants you to start tomorrow".
'Ummm, yeah, I'll be there'. I couldn't say no.

My original intent was to work for six months, to earn enough for a semester at a Language School...But, somehow, as if by force other than self-will, I was given a responsibility larger than myself and gave back two years plus to the Company.

I gave heart, soul, blood, sweat, and tears. I gave my all.

Then along came a merger...and, well, that's another story for another time. Suffice to say, for now, Change comes in many unexpected forms. First it came as an opportunity. And presently...perhaps as an end.

But not The End.

The Pillars of Education

I have 98.6 degrees. To earn my degrees, I did not give four to eight years to an institution of higher learning. Instead, I gave twenty-seven years to learning and surviving on a hostile, friendly, and paradoxical planet.

So far so good.

I have no (official) papers to state that I'm a Mac of All Trades; I do a lot of things--unofficially. That's just the way of it when Life is the primary school of instruction.

Know that I have been (and will be) many things.
Read to believe.
Let experience lead.
...
...
The "Mac" of All Trades:

It was the Nintendo Entertainment System that turned me into a "Tech Junky". But it was a hand-me-down Kaypro II Computer System that turned me on to the world of Computing. Shortly thereafter, myriad X86s would open their Windows 3.1s, 95s, NTs, 98 SEs, and show their view of the world.
And for a time, it was good.
Then, one day, the Windows closed. I was in the fourth grade; and there, suddenly, was a Performa, with a one-button mouse, and Oregon Trail blazing on the display. But I never made it to Oregon; no, I found something better...the Wide World of the Web.

In that moment, I learned to Think Different.

The years passed, and I studied the arts (drawing, sculpting, photography), examined the physical and the spiritual worlds, and read many, many books (of leisure, science, and history). I took to the writing of poems and prose, in my native English and in the languages of the world (Japanese, Italian, French). I have lived and loved in foreign lands (Japan, Italy, France, Belgium, Holland).

[To witness the rising of the sun in another land is to realise truth beyond words.]
...
...
I am fond of all my degrees, even if they are not hanging with pride on my wall.

I repeat:

Know that I have been (and will be) many things.
Read to believe.
Let experience lead.

What I Done Did

To describe what it is I do, I often have to resort to a lengthy explanation and pop culture references. I can't just say, 'I am the Video Operations Manager for Company X' and expect a wink of understanding and a shift in the conversation. I have to add, 'I manage a team of editors and analysts, and we take pre-produced or un-cut video, perform a digital transfer, edit and digitally master the video, and then create custom or as-is products for distribution within our network of Online and Mobile Retail Outlets'; even then, the response is the same blank stare and a smile that's searching for a reply.
When I resort to, 'we sell music videos and TV shows on iTunes, as well as monetise the videos with advertising on sites like YouTube', then the real smiles and nods of seeing the light come on...and my mission is complete. One more person knows what I do, or did...And there was much rejoicing.

For those whom know not the joys of iTunes and YouTube, I simply have to wing it, and hope for the best. I say, 'we acquire the rights to digitally sell and advertise against music videos, classic television (Gumby, My Favorite Martian, I Spy), and even a magic series by Criss Angel...We do not have physical distribution rights; there are no DVDs made. It's all done digitally--straight to your phone, computer, or other portable electronic device'.
And I always add, 'it's an interesting space to be in, because part of the experience is learning how to monetise all these videos. Because, in truth, not even "the big names" (NBC, MTV, CBS) are making the returns they'd hoped for...Not yet, anyway'.

To describe what it is I do, it is probably best if I say, 'I'm an amusement park technician; I run the roller coaster'. I'll say, 'yeah, I just pull the crank and listen to the screams. It's terribly satisfying'.

And that will be that.

First and Last

Today is beginning of the last day of my formal employment. Willingly, I am choosing to live in the uncertainty of unemployment. For now, I'd rather maintain my Home and Sanity than hustle and bustle in a big City.
Originally, I had every intention of "staying in the business" and forging a name for the Company and my self.

But things don't always pan out as planned.

It all happened at such an unwitting pace, that I cannot help but reflect on the possible grand implications of my minor decision to decline the job offer I'd once accepted.
What was it that changed within my heart? My mind?
Was it as simple as fear? (Of moving to another city...Of leaving friends and family...?)
Or is it some complex microcosm of reasons that can only be understood by the macrocosm of cause and effect?

Choice as chaos.
Splendid.

Like the spin and chase of the sun and the moon, always preceding or succeeding one another, so are the events of life bound and wound together.
The events of my life are no different.
I am always spinning with decisions and chasing opportunities...But until I succeed in the goals I've set out to achieve, I will always be preceding my self with more and more busyness...and there will be no peace--no true advancement.
Leading a team of editors and analysts through the mirk of the Internet Video Industry is not for me. (At least, not while under the wings of a Company.)

Busyness does not make happiness. And, perhaps that is what it boils down to: I was not happy with my choice.
I have too much to do as it is! So to keep going...to take on more by staying with the Company...This choice made me unhappy. It had to change.

And so it did.
And so did I.